


Worrisome Times

by buckybarnesismyhusband



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Boy howdy do I love angst, Hurt/Comfort, It gets happy though don't worry, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9418982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarnesismyhusband/pseuds/buckybarnesismyhusband
Summary: Steve has spent years trying to get Bucky to fall back into a steady routine after everything that's happened. It was difficult and took many long hours of fighting, but they had finally created a stable environment. Bucky won't tell Steve he hates it though. He hates the new apartment Steve moved him into. It's empty and lonely. How long does it take to make Steve crack and realize that?





	1. Falling Apart

Bucky had been forced to look for a new apartment after Steve had decided he should move out and be on his own. Steve of course never knew of the nightmares that would wake Bucky up and the only thing he could do to be able to fall back asleep was to know Steve was okay and alive. Steve had never woken up with sleep paralysis and the joining sensations of people touching him or poking him with needles. Steve never knew what was really going on in Bucky's head, and Bucky was mostly okay with that.

He felt like he was on those house hunting shows he'd watch with Nat. Bucky is looking for an apartment near Stark tower with a gym in the building! Bucky's budget is non-existent because Steve was making Stark pay for everything! Bucky snorted softly at the thought, earning a stern look from Steve.

This apartment had been the best so far. All of them were one bedroom and one bath since it was going to be just Bucky, this one just had a huge kitchen. Bucky couldn't think of the last time he had so much space for cooking or baking or whatever he damn well pleased in the kitchen. His old apartment in Brooklyn had a small kitchen, and Hydra had kept him fed while he was captive.

Steve took Bucky's longing stare at the kitchen as an "I want this apartment" and had told the landlord. The next thing he knew there was people bringing in furniture and someone hooking up an alarm system.

"Tony wants you to be safe..."

"Right. Is he able to control it from where ever he is so he can hold me captive too?"

Steve stared at his friend, chewing on the inside of his cheeks nervously. Bucky had never snapped at him before. He wasn't really sure what to do.

"I want you to be safe, Buck. I can't be sure of that if you aren't at my apartment..."

Then I should have just stayed, Bucky thought, feeling betrayed by Steve's words. Tony was going to treat him like an animal. An animal needs a cage right? 

"Tony also insisted on allowing Friday to be here too, in case you have any questions about anything."

"I don't want Stark's electronics in my apartment." 

"It'll be nice to have something to talk to if you wake up in the middle of the night-"

"I don't do that."

Steve threw his hands up in defeat before leaving the apartment. Bucky was left alone with the moving service, until they were done and left him alone. He rubbed his face with his hands before starting a pot of coffee. At least Stark got him all the newest models of kitchen appliances.

As the coffee brew Bucky decided to look around the apartment. He had already searched thoroughly for hiding places so all there was left was how it looked with whatever furniture Stark bought. The colors were all good, blacks and greys. Bucky ran his hand along the back of the couch, pausing as he noticed the throw pillows. A nice shade of blue with Steve's shield on them.

Of course Stark would get a laugh out of that. Bucky looked around the living room, noticing all of the other items around associated with Steve or the other Avengers. 

"Enjoying your new place, Barnes?"

Bucky twitched at the voice.

"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. That's the saying, right?"

Tony just smiled and leaned against the archway leading to the hallway.

"I'm enjoying your new place. I detailed everything. I thought you'd enjoy the small splashes of color amongst the darker shades.  Just wait until you see the bedroom."

With a wink Tony was gone. He knew the code to enter and leave Bucky's apartment, it was his technology anyway. He was a bit weary to go see the bedroom now, so instead he made himself a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a remote off the coffee table and turned on the large TV. He stared down at the electronics on the table, opening the laptop and turning on the phone. He nearly spit his coffee everywhere at the sight of the backgrounds on both of them. It was an old photo of him and Steve, the blonde's arm around his shoulders as they laughed about something that had happened.

He didn't want to know how Stark was doing this, it was just making him mad. Was he trying to imply something? Was he just playing a cruel joke because he hated Bucky?

Not bothering to ponder either of those questions, Bucky simply shut off the TV and went to the kitchen to pour his coffee down the drain. The time on the clock of the oven read 8:37 pm, but Bucky had been done with this day as soon as Steve suggested apartment hunting again while they ate lunch.

He felt sorry for the apartment under him for a moment as he trudged to the bathroom, quickly stripping before stepping into the shower. He took in a deep breath as cold water washed over him. He couldn't remember the last time his showers were even relatively warm, the cold just seemed more inviting. Bucky stepped out and walked to his bedroom, not caring about the water dripping off his body.

Bucky froze in the doorway to the bedroom. Tony had somehow managed to not fuck with it at all, instead it looked just like the room he had been staying in at Steve's. The only difference was everything looked newer.

"Remind me to send a thanks to Stark in the morning..." Bucky mumbled to himself as he grabbed a pair of boxers from the dresser, pulling them on before curling up under the thick comforter.

It felt as though as soon as his eyes closed he was destined to dream of what he had done. For all he knew he was, maybe it was his punishment for what Hydra had made him do. Tonight's nightmare was unlike any other though. Instead of some faceless, human-like creature, it was Steve. Steve begging him to remember who he was. Steve refusing to punch back, calling him over and over. The dream seemed to stretch on until Bucky finally had him down. Steve was no longer moving and Bucky had a gun pointed at his head.

"You wouldn't do this, Buck. This isn't you. Just put the gun down-"

The sound of the shot still echoed in Bucky's ears as he scrambled to get off the bed. He ignored the feeling of tears trailing down his face as he ran out of the room to find Steve. He remembered as soon as he's out the bedroom door that he isn't at Steve's apartment. Bucky doesn't notice how cold it is outside, or the snow falling and dusting his hair as he runs to Steve's apartment.

He doesn't even know what time it is. Steve hopefully doesn't mind if he's being woken up by Bucky's frantic knocking on his door. He's left a trail of wet footprints all the way to Steve's floor, a puddle developing around him as he knocked. He should've just checked to see if it was open but soon enough Steve had the door pulled open. He's rubbing his eyes tiredly, wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"It's three in the morning-" The blonde cut himself off as he stared at Bucky. He's shivering and wet and wearing only a pair of black Calvin Klein boxers. Why would Stark even buy that brand for Bucky?

"I'm sorry-"

"Get inside. Right now." Steve said sharply, pulling in his friend.

Bucky suddenly feels the cold from his run over here, not that it bothered him too much. Russia was much colder.

"You're going to catch a damn cold," Steve mumbled as he rubbed Bucky's hair dry with a towel.

He isn't even sure if he can catch a cold, but he doesn't argue as Steve forced him to sit on the couch with a large, fuzzy blanket wrapped around him. The blonde came back a moment later with a mug of hot chocolate.

"What would cause you to run almost across town in just your underwear?"

Bucky didn't answer and instead sipped his hot chocolate. He didn't understand why Steve always wanted him to be warm. Warmth had been forgotten with everything else.

"Answer me, James!"

Shit. Steve meant business. He only used Bucky's first name when he was pissed, like when an angry mother used her child's full name.

"I had a bad dream."

"Children crawl into bed with their parents when they've had a bad dream! You didn't have just a bad dream, Bucky!"

The blanket fell off Bucky as he stood, hot chocolate threatening to fall out of the mug he had bought Steve for Christmas years ago.

"Forget it. I'll just go back to my apartment. I didn't think I'd be interrogated here."

The mug was discarded on to the coffee table before Bucky headed to the door. Steve was fast though and had Bucky's back against the door before he even had a chance to grab the knob.

"You show up at my apartment, at three in the morning, in your underwear and then expect me not to question your choices?"

Bucky stared into Steve's eyes, noticing the flecks of green hidden in the blue. Had he really thought Steve wouldn't question him?

"I'm sorry-"

"You already said that as soon as I opened the door." 

"I killed you-" Bucky choked out, feeling a faint sting in the back of his eyes.

Steve's grip loosened before he hugged the brunet tightly. Bucky held on for dear life as he sobbed silently. They stood there for an unknown amount of time, Steve holding on to Bucky and Bucky shaking violently.

They had both fallen to their knees at the sound of Bucky's first choked sob. And they had both fallen asleep holding on to each other, leaning against the front door. Bucky didn't have a dream for this sleep. It was just dark and calm.

"Rogers! Are we still going out for our run?"

The voice of Sam Wilson was what woke them both up. Bucky stayed against the door as Steve stood up and stretched.

"Give me a minute, Wilson." 

Steve helped Bucky up before opening the door.

"Can we skip the run today? Or postpone it for later?"

"Captain America needs to postpone a run? Better have a good reason."

Bucky had sat down at the table, resting his head against it and closing his eyes again. He didn't notice the furious yet silent argument Sam and Steve had. He did know Steve was mad though because he tended to make copious amounts of food when he was upset. Soon enough a small feast was on the table. A plate stacked with pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and a small bowl full of different kinds of fruit were set in front of Bucky once his head was lifted. 

Steve sat down next to him with an identical plate, Sam did not get one. Bucky ate his food slowly as he tried to forget the images of Steve's bloodied and bruised body from his dream. A wave of nausea was washed down with a sip of grape juice. The next wave was much larger and lead to Bucky losing all the food he had just eaten to the toilet.

Steve had followed him to the bathroom, holding Buck's hair back as he lost his breakfast. He didn't ask what caused this. He seemed to already know. Luckily Steve was slow at cleaning and Bucky still had a toothbrush in the bathroom. He brushed his teeth four times before he figured his mouth didn't smell like puke anymore and left the bathroom, heading back to the kitchen. A blanket was wrapped around his shoulders as he carefully sipped the water that had been replaced his breakfast.

"You okay, Barnes?"

Bucky looked up at Sam. Sam didn't seem to care if he was actually okay or not, he was probably just being nice for Steve.

"Fine. Thanks."

Steve pulled Sam to a different room, a room he knew Bucky couldn't hear him from. He was forced to be by himself again, drinking freezing cold water from cup with Tony's face on it. If it wasn't Steve's cup he probably would've broken it, but Steve had told him many times how you shouldn't break other people's belongings just because you don't like them. He had received the first lesson after knocking over one of Tony's expensive vases.

The cup was emptied and set on the table at the same time Sam and Steve walked back into the kitchen. Steve had changed into a pair of jeans and a plain red sweatshirt. Sam set a pile of clothes on the table near Bucky before leaving the apartment without so much as a goodbye.

"I'm taking you to Stark before we go back to your apartment."

"I'm fine."

"You might be and that scene that just happened might have just been caused by you eating too much at one time. Either way, get dressed. We're seeing Stark."

Bucky didn't protest and grabbed the clothes off the table, carrying them to the bathroom. He was tempted to take a shower just to piss Steve off but he seemed too concerned to mess with right now. Instead he slipped on the black sweatpants and blue sweatshirt. Steve had given him a pair of shoes and a coat once he walked out. 

"It snowed last night, which you would've known if you paid attention to your surroundings."

Bucky bit his tongue and pulled on the coat and shoes. He didn't grab anything when he had left last night. He didn't even have his keys. Steve put on his coat before leading Bucky out of the apartment and to a car that was waiting for them at the front door. Stupid Stark, picking them up in a stupid limo. Who needed a limo to see a doctor? Tony fucking Stark.

The ride was silent, Steve not wanting to bring up what had happened and Bucky falling asleep didn't help either. The nap was short and he was shaken awake not too long after falling asleep. He was escorted to an elevator, Steve following close behind. Bucky pinched himself to stay awake.

"Good morning, boys!" Tony said cheerfully as soon as the elevator doors opened.

Bucky flipped him off and Steve swatted at his hand until he stopped.

"So! Night terrors, possible frostbite, nausea, am I missing anything Barnes?"

"Brain cells?"

Bucky was rewarded with a smack upside the head for that answer. Steve had no sense of humor!

Tony started walking towards a large device that reminded Bucky vaguely of the memory wiping chair.

"Sit down. I don't have all day. I do, I just don't want to spend it being enveloped by Steve's self righteousness."

Bucky almost laughed at that but Stark had made the joke so instead he just glared and hesitantly sat down. Tony began hooking things to him, setting electrodes on his temples.

"Rogers, grab the bottle of pills off the table there and get Barnes something drink while I hook this up."

Bucky watched as Steve huffed before doing what he was instructed. Clearly nobody enjoyed being bossed around, let alone by Tony Stark. Tony had the machine hooked up and Bucky's arms restrained as Steve returned holding a small, orange bottle and a glass of water.

"I'm going to ask you politely to not bite off my fingers," Tony said as he popped open the bottle and shook out a small pill. He brought it to Bucky's mouth, humming expectantly. The brunet opened his mouth slowly, Stark setting the pill in. It began to dissolve on his tongue and it tasted slightly of artificial cherries. The taste was washed out when Steve tipped some water into his mouth.

"What was that?"

"A very powerful sleeping pill. I want to see if he has another nightmare. I'm going to read his brainwaves and-"

Bucky didn't like the fact his eyes were closing against his will and that his hearing began to become muffled. Nothing could have even prepared him for the overpowering sleepiness from one small pill, but sure enough his eyes were shut and he couldn't hear Stark at all.

He would've enjoyed that if it wasn't for the fact he had the same dream as earlier, except now Steve was back to his small, sickly form.

"Buck, stop- You're hurting me- Please-"

The words meant nothing in this dream and it nearly broke his heart to see the same thing happen to this Steve. The pill had kept him under though, and he was forced to see the consequences of his dream. Steve had been fragile in his old state, but now it brought tears to Bucky's eyes. Red was blossoming around Steve's tiny, bruised body.

"No!"

Bucky had woken up just as his dream self had reached for Steve's body. Tony had jumped in startlement at the outburst, Steve had rushed to Bucky's side. Neither of them mentioned the tears falling down Bucky's face, or the wild look of fear on his face until he finally found Steve.

"I'm so sorry, Steve-"

"Bucky, you're okay. It was a dream."

Steve quickly undid the arm restraints, surprised by the strong hug of his friend. Tony stared at his laptop screen as Steve whispered comforting words to Bucky. Tony clapped his hands together once before pulling off the electrodes carefully.

"Did you find out why this was happening?"

"Nope, I just wanted you two to stop looking so cute together."

His words made Steve move away from Bucky.

"I have to talk to Barnes in private, go get coffee or something."

Steve just nodded, giving Bucky a hesitant look before leaving the room.

"Why didn't you tell him moving was a bad idea?"

"What?"

"Clearly you're worried about losing him. The first dream, just like this one?"

"Mostly?"

Bucky was worried about these questions, and he didn't really like answering them.

"What were the differences?"

"It wasn't old Steve."

Tony nodded and turned the laptop at Bucky.

"I hooked you up to my memory reader, which I tweaked a bit to be able to see dreams because I'm amazing, and I watched everything that just happened. I'd suggest sleeping pills but that clearly made it worse."

"Really did. Bad idea on your part."

"I just watched your dream! I'm clearly a genius!"

"Except when it comes to people."

Tony shrugged and pulled a flash drive from the USB port. Bucky rubbed his head and sighed.

"I'm still going to monitor you," Stark said as he walked around the room, looking for something. "It's mostly a hunch that you just miss your lover. I'd like to see how reoccurring this dream is." A small sound of victory was made as Tony held up what looked like a sleeping mask. 

The mask was all black except for the Stark brand symbol on the side. Tony handed it to Bucky before typing something on to his laptop. The sleep mask earned more colors as it glowed a gentle blue.

"This is similar to the things I stuck on your face. I'll be recording and watching your dreams, I promise not to show anyone else."

"Thank you," Bucky said softly, putting the mask into his sweatshirt pocket just as Steve walked in carrying two cups.

"Pepper made you the usual and hot chocolate for Buck."

Bucky held his cup which reminded him of a Starbucks cup. He didn't feel like drinking it with the dream still fresh in his mind.

"You two are free to go. Go do whatever two guys in denial do."

Bucky got up from the chair and headed to the elevator, just wanting to go home and sleep. Steve was his shadow and was with him the entire time he walked to his apartment. He ignored all the questions about what him and Stark talked about and did his best to not notice the cold nipping at his nose.

Buck opened his apartment door, growling in frustration as the alarm system went off. He pressed in the four digit passcode as he toed off his shoes.

"Buck? Do you want me to stay?"

He had almost missed his friend's soft words. Before he could catch himself he whispered, "Yes."

Neither of them knew what was happening anymore, but they didn't question it. Bucky's drink was forgotten on the dining room table and soon enough they were both in Bucky's bed in nothing but their underwear. Steve held Bucky close, whispering soft words to him as he closed his eyes. 

"It's like Brooklyn all over again, but reversed," Bucky whispered sleepily.

Steve knew exactly what that meant. He had usually been the one that woke up at night and Bucky would hold him. The blonde had also been head over heels for Bucky at the time, hopefully that was also included in this situation being reversed.


	2. Getting There

Steve had been staying at Bucky's apartment. He was acting more as a caretaker than as a friend though. He made sure Bucky took care of himself basically. He'd hold back Bucky's hair when the nightmares were too much for his stomach to handle, brush his hair after forcing him to shower or take a bath, made sure he ate during the day, and even pulled him to the gym when he felt like Bucky was being too lazy.

Bucky didn't know if Steve enjoyed doing this at all, but he loved it. Steve was there and he was okay. The blonde would be there after yet another horrible nightmare of being slaughtered in one way or another. Bucky hadn't felt this relieved in years. Steve was always safe when he was with him because he wouldn't let anyone hurt his precious friend.

But then Steve had to go on a mission. Steve had left in the middle of the night, not knowing how to explain to Bucky that he needed to leave for maybe a month, maybe longer if they got a lead. He never mentioned it to him at all. He'd take his phonecalls outside so Bucky wouldn't hear. Bucky had no idea at all that Steve was leaving him.

He didn't know until he woke up at three in the morning, breathing hard and searching in the dark for Steve. He called out only to meet silence, the stupid sleep mask Stark had given him was ripped off and thrown against a wall. He nearly tore the bedroom apart until the lights were suddenly turned on. He froze, turning to face the doorway. Clint was standing there, his hand still near the light switch. 

"Steve sent me to give you an apology, but it looks like you need more than that..."

"What do you mean an apology?"

Clint sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, closing his eyes as he thought of how to explain the situation to an ex-assassin that could tear his head off in two seconds.

"Something happened over somewhere in Europe, Tony won't give me details because he wants me to stay with my family. Something about a Hydra agent exploding something, someone, them self, I'm not really sure. They aren't telling the news anything either."

"Why didn't they take me with? Why didn't Steve convince them?"

"Bucky, Steve was the one that didn't want you to go. Everyone tried to convince him that you should go."

"I don't understand-"

"I don't either, but Stark said you shouldn't be alone."

"He left me alone-"

"You're going to stay with me until someone from the group gets back to check up on you. It isn't the nicest place, but I just remodeled the guest bedroom. I think you'll like it."

Bucky squatted to pull out a duffle bag from under the bed and tossed it above its hiding place.

"How long am I staying?"

"Unknown amount of time. You don't need much since we do have a washing machine."

Bucky smiled slightly from Clint's sarcasm and filled the bag with whatever clothes he liked from the dressers and closet. He wasn't sure how Tony knew, but he really liked all the soft materials of the clothing. Once the bag was full of clothes he went to the bathroom to grab whatever he needed from in there. Clint had the duffel over his shoulder when Bucky walked into the kitchen. 

"You ready?"

"One more thing," Bucky said before opening a cupboard and grabbing a mug out from it. The mug Steve had used every morning since he began to stay with Buck.

"Alright, let's head out before Stark makes the lights flicker. I grabbed that weird thing you threw against the wall, seemed important."

"Stark's been watching my dreams with it. I'm not wearing it anymore. It's not helping anything. Just reminds me of the chair."

Clint didn't ask and didn't bother explaining that he had grabbed it because Tony had told him Barnes needed to wear it any time he slept. He truly was worried when the team had even suggested Bucky be anywhere close to his children. Steve had convinced him though. Back in Brooklyn, Bucky always had a small group of children look up to him.

The ride to Clint's farmhouse was silent, Bucky once again falling asleep once he was in a vehicle. He had been lucky and there was no dream, just him floating weightlessly as if he was in water. 

"Rise and shine, Barnes. My wife made lunch and I am starving."

As soon as Bucky's eyes were open he saw a white farmhouse and a red barn. He got out of the car slowly, stretching out his sore muscles. Falling asleep in a car for so long was a mistake. There was no comfortable way to sleep in a car unless you had the entire back seat. 

"Daddy!"

Bucky watched as a boy and girl ran from the porch to hug Clint.

"I didn't know you had kids..."

"Not many people know. Buck, this is Cooper and Lila. Nathaniel is inside, probably sleeping."

"He is!" The small boy said with a toothy smile. He was missing his two front teeth.

Buck watched as Clint scooped his kids up and carried them inside. He grabbed his bags from the backseat before following them in. He was instantly hit with the smell of home. It wasn't the home smell from Brooklyn or his apartment. It smelled like vanilla and a hint of baby powder. 

The baby powder smell was to be expected as he suddenly heard the shrill cry of a baby, followed by calming words of a mother. He stood in the doorway like a dumbass, not really sure of what to do. He felt out of place here and he even kind of missed his apartment. 

"Barnes, this way."

Bucky blinked as Clint's words pulled him out of his stupor, following him to a bedroom upstairs. The house was a wreck with toys everywhere and abandoned, half done drawings or coloring sheets. Clint opened a door and ushered Bucky in.

"If you need anything just ask. Lunch is done if you're hungry."

"Thank you."

Clint smiled and patted Bucky's back before closing the door. Bucky slipped the bag off his shoulder and began to put the clothes he had brought into the dresser. He felt like it was okay to do that, he was going to be staying here for a while. 

He sighed and sat down on the bed once he was done. His stomach growled but he didn't want to interrupt the family eating lunch. He didn't belong here. This wasn't his home. He had no right to intrude on Clint and his family-

A small knock had pulled Bucky from his thoughts. He stood up and opened the door, looking down at the boy from earlier.

"Dad asked if you were going to come down and eat with us."

"Yeah- I'll be down in a minute."

The boy looked just like Clint if you ignored the missing teeth and baby face. The girl probably looked more like her mother since the only resemblance he saw was her hair color.

Bucky changed from his pajamas into a pair of dark jeans and a white tank top. He didn't want to look like he had just woke up. He did in a way, and Clint hadn't given him much time to change when he appeared in his apartment. They had driven pretty far since it was still around three in the morning when they left and now it was noon. He pulled his hair back into a bun like Steve had showed him before going downstairs and heading to the dining room.

He could immediately feel the children's eyes on his metal arm, but it was summer and he didn't want to overheat just to avoid being stared at by children. He hesitantly sat down at the table next to Clint and across from his wife who was bouncing a baby on her knee as she ate. 

"Bucky, this is Laura. She's my beautiful wife."

Bucky smiled a little at Laura before staring at the baby who was reaching for the food on her plate.

"Clint's talked about you before, it's nice to finally meet you."

"I'm going to be honest with you here, I didn't even know you existed until today. It's still nice to meet you though." Bucky said as he began to put food on his plate. He had noticed he was hungry but then he remembered he hadn't eaten in about two days as he piled on food.

"I might need to start making more food," Laura said with a smile as she watched Bucky fill his plate. "I hope he isn't picky."

"No ma'am. Steve used to call me a goat because I'd eat just about anything put infront of me."

"Can I call you goat?"

"No, Clint, you are not allowed to call me a goat."

After lunch Clint took the two older kids outside to practice archery and Laura cleaned up. Bucky didn't have much experience with archery and decided to help Laura instead. Nathaniel was nearby, sitting in a small chair that was rocking him. Bucky really wanted to hold him, he just didn't know how to ask. He didn't think anybody would want their baby to be held by a guy with a metal arm.

After an hour all the food was put in the fridge and the dishes were washed, dried, and put away. Laura had thanked him for the help and he just mumbled you're welcome because him and Steve would always clean up after a meal together. He watched as she picked up Nathaniel and carried him into the sunroom, setting him in a weird C-shaped pillow. He felt like a creep watching Laura play with the baby, so he went outside to see if Clint was still playing archer with the kids. 

Of course he was, but Cooper was playing around in the grass instead of listening to his father. Bucky walked over and grabbed Clint's bow off the ground.

"I haven't shot one of these in a long time..."

"Well, be careful with that, it's heavily modified thanks to Tony. I have a plain one in the barn if you'd rather give that a try."

"I can handle your fancy bow. I do have a metal arm, Barton."

"That you do."

Bucky moved down a bit away from Clint and his daughter so he could shoot and not worry about missing horribly and hitting a kid instead. That'd be bad for the first day of being here. "Oh yeah Steve, Clint kicked me off his farm because I hit his kid with an arrow and now I'm alone in my apartment again! Whoops!"

Bucky laughed at the thought before aiming for the bullseye on the target. Just as his fingers released, an image of Clint flashing before his eyes. He let out a shout as the arrow sailed, hitting the middle of the target. He dropped the bow and rubbed his eyes.

"I can't do this- I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, Clint-"

"Bud, hey, you hit the bullseye and you didn't break my bow when you dropped it. You did awesome for not having picked up a bow in a long time."

Bucky looked up from his fingers and saw the concern on Clint's face before looking past him and seeing Cooper and Lila making dandelion crowns, unaware of what was happening just a few feet away.

"Can I call Steve? Do you think he'd be mad? Steve, Stark, I need to talk to one of them."

Clint wrapped an arm around Bucky's shoulders and led him inside. Laura was still with Nathaniel, trying to get him to say "mama". Bucky looked away from them. Clint led him to the room he was staying in and gave him his cellphone.

"You decide who you call, I'm going back outside. Nobody will hear you so don't be afraid to say what happened."

Bucky just nodded and looked through the contacts on Clint's phone as he shut the door behind him. It was mostly just the other Avengers, even Thor was in it. Natasha had about ten different contacts. Tony had two, his office and his cell. Bucky checked Steve's, finding only one contact, and thought about calling him before calling Stark's cellphone.

"Clint, has someone already died at your house?"

"Stark, it's me. Bucky."

"Ah! Well, in that case, forget what I just said. I know you wouldn't kill anyone-"

"I wasn't even sleeping this time."

"What?"

"I was shooting arrows with Clint's daughter and when I let go of the arrow- The target flashed to Clint. Only for a second, but it was enough to freak me out."

There was silence on the other end before a, "Well that's a concern. How am I going to monitor you at all times? Seems like more than it's worth."

"Stark! I don't want to hurt anyone! Not anymore."

"I know, I know."

Stark's voice became distant, Bucky could hear the faint sound of a screw being screwed in. He must be on speaker.

"I'm already working on something. Steve insisted on it because he's worried about you, you two should just elope already. It's so obvious. You're driving everyone insane."

"What are you talking about?"

"Barnes, I've been watching your dreams for months now. It's not exactly subtle up in your head."

Bucky stopped for a second to think of what Tony meant before gripping the phone tightly.

"Shut up- That was a one time dream-"

"Barnes, you had it continuously for like an entire month. Steve was never at his apartment after the first incident, was he with you?"

"You know the answer-"

"I want to hear you admit it though. I'm what the kids calls sadistic."

"Yes. He stayed with me."

"Did you two share a bed?"

Bucky could practically see Stark's stupid grin through the phone.

"I only have one bedroom-"

"I didn't ask that."

"Yes, he was sleeping with me," Bucky said softly, embarrassed by having to answer that.

"Do you have romantic feelings for Captain America? For Steve Rogers?"

"No-!"

"Barnes, do not lie to me."

"Steve's my friend- I don't have romantic feelings for him- That's wrong."

"Honey, it's the twenty-first century. There are so many people discovering new things. Treatments for once incurable diseases, crazy weapons, gay people walking down the street everywhere you go. Being gay isn't a new concept, kid."

"I'm old enough to be your great-grandpa."

"Jesus. I'm hanging up unless you admit you want to bone Captain America."

"Stark! This isn't a game!"

"It's a very serious question. Maybe you're having these dreams and flashes because you're scared. Scared of who you'll become if you admit you want to boink Steve Rogers."

"I'd tell your father you're being an asshole if he was still alive."

"That hurts, Bucky. I too would like to talk to my father, but alas you killed him. Killed my father along with my innocent mother."

"Fuck- Fine! Okay, yeah. Would I like to see Steve naked? Sure. Would I be down to have sex with Steve? Absolutely. Do I wish I could tell him to let me move back in with him or have him live with me? Fuck yes. Am I going to tell Steve I love him? That I've loved him since Brooklyn? I really wish I could."

"No need. I added him to this phone call a while ago. He heard everything you just said."

"Stark!"

The call was ended and Bucky wanted to throw the phone. But the phone was not his! You can't break things that aren't yours! Bucky yelled in frustration and punched the wall, staring at the hole he had just created.

"Fuck. Jesus fucking Christ. Clint! Clint I'm sorry!" Bucky yelled as he ran outside.

Clint looked up from his dandelion crowns at Bucky.

"How'd your phonecall go?"

"I punched a hole in your wall-"

"That bad, huh? That's okay, I'll fix it tomorrow."

"I'm sorry. I'm a monster. I shouldn't even be here with you and your family. I'll just go back-"

"Bucky, you punched a hole in a wall. Do you know how many times the walls here have been patched up? Cooper's even made a hole in the wall before. Remember that?"

"I was playing miner! I had to find coal!"

"Was there any coal in daddy's walls?"

"Nope."

Bucky sat down across from Clint, freezing as he felt a body behind him. An object was placed on his head and Clint smiled.

"Lila made that for you while you were inside. She said it looked pretty and that you look pretty so you deserve it.

Bucky snorted softly and reached up to touch the object, finding it to be a flower crown instead of dandelions.

"Laura will probably be mad she went into the flower bed to make that, but I must agree with Lila. It's very pretty on you."

Bucky set his hands in his lap.

"Thank you, Lila. I feel very pretty."

He received a hug around his neck before the small body of Lila disappeared from behind him.

"Barton? Do you think I could-"

Bucky cut himself off and stared at his metal arm, deciding against the original question. 

"What do you want, Barnes?"

"I just need a haircut. Do you think Laura would cut it?"

"To be honest, she isn't the best with scissors. She sends me to this really nice place in town, I'll ask her to set you up there."

"I don't trust people with scissors very much."

"If you go Winter Soldier I'm sending you back to Fury in a straight jacket. You'll be fine."

Bucky just nodded and ran his hand along the grass around him. He didn't get a lot of chances to see grass looking this good except at the park. But the park was always crowded with kids and parents and everyone looked at him like he was a freak.

"Have you thought of getting a pet? Stark says he thinks you're lonely by yourself."

"Uh- Not really. Landlord said no pets but I'm Bucky fucking Barnes. If I want a pet in my apartment I will have one. What should I get?"

"Wanna stop at the pet store after your haircut?"

"Why not? Maybe a pet would be good."

"You could get it registered for like PTSD or something. Landlord couldn't kick you out then."

"Smart. I like your style, Barton."

"I try my best, Barnes."

Bucky spent the next couple of hours outside with Cooper and Lila, making flower crowns and trying his best to play pretend with them. Cooper really liked his metal arm and asked if he could get one too when he was older, Bucky told him only if Clint says it's okay. Lila asked if she could braid Bucky's hair, he told her tomorrow.

It was starting to get dark. Clint called them inside to eat, Bucky didn't go in. He sat out in the grass, watching the fireflies flicker and dance around. He was still livid with what Tony had done, but he felt sort of relieved? A weight had been lifted off his chest from finally saying what had been on his mind for a long time. 

Ever after Hydra had wiped him after that scene with Steve and remembering him, he still could see his face in his thoughts. He didn't mention it because he couldn't stand the wiping. It always left a metallic taste in his mouth and hurt his head. He kept that knowledge away from Hydra, and in return he began to remember more and more about Steve. It had angered him because he couldn't put a name or feelings to the face.

Bucky held out his metal arm, watching a firefly land on his finger. It still frustrated him in a way. He had had Steve so close for months. They shared a bed for God's sake! He couldn't even tell Steve how he felt. How he's always felt. He felt ashamed in a way. Felt like one of those annoying girls in Bruce's gross romantic comedies.

Clint walked up to Bucky and sat down next to him, watching the fireflies. 

"The kids were asking about you. They're kinda worried."

"Sorry. I don't want to intrude on your family."

"You aren't intruding, Buck."

Bucky was silent before asking, "How could you trust me near your kids? I don't even trust myself around kids."

"I've seen you in tapes, being the Winter Soldier. Being what others had made you. It reminded me of myself when Loki took control of me; a puppet with someone else's intentions. You didn't decide to kill people. After you escaped, Steve trusted you. Steve doesn't trust lightly, so I trusted you too. Still do. You wouldn't harm a child."

Clint patted Bucky's shoulder before standing and heading inside. Bucky followed soon after him, glancing back at the fireflies. Laura was right there, sitting at the dinner table. As soon as the door closed behind him Laura told him to sit. He complied and was greeted with a plate full of food.

"You aren't required to eat with us, but you are required to eat."

"Yes, ma'am."

Bucky dug into the food, delighted by all the flavors. Laura stayed with him at the table, watching him. She was probably making sure he was eating, but it was hard not to when her cooking was almost better than his mom's had been.

The plate was emptied and put into the sink. Bucky was glad he had a high metabolism or he'd probably get fat while staying here. Laura left the kitchen for a moment, coming back with Nathaniel in her arms.

"I saw you watching him earlier, hold your arms out."

Bucky blinked before saying, "I don't think that's wise, ma'am."

"C'mon, sit down then. You're holding my baby."

Bucky moved to the living room, sitting down on a recliner. Lila and Cooper were sitting in front of the TV, watching a cartoon with dogs. Laura set Nathaniel into Bucky's arms and smiled.

"Good, now I can finally get something done without being worried about Nathan."

Bucky watched as Laura disappeared from the room. He was now left alone with three children. He had never felt so anxious before. Lila noticed Bucky was on the chair and sat down on his lap, Cooper followed after her and sat on the armrest. It was awkward, but it was warm and Bucky felt responsible and safe.

Clint and Laura found Bucky asleep on the chair with all three of their children laying with him. Lila had a hand in Bucky's hair, like she had been playing with it. Nathaniel was asleep on Bucky's chest, looking like he was getting the best sleep he's ever had. And Cooper was hugging Bucky's metal arm like it was a teddy bear. Clint grabbed out his phone and took a picture before him and Laura picked up their children, moving them to their beds and tucking them in.

"Buck, hey, you fell asleep on the chair. You should be in bed." Clint said softly, shaking Bucky's arm.

Bucky had been awake the moment Clint had taken the picture, the sound of the phone taking it had caught his ears. He realized he hadn't had a nightmare for that sleep, and it wasn't empty like it had been in the car. He was granted with an actual dream this time.

He faked a yawn and stood up from the chair, stretching before heading upstairs. He locked his bedroom door and stripped to his boxers. He didn't want any of the kids to try and wake him up and find him half naked. Bucky sighed softly as he combed out his hair with his fingers before laying down on the bed. It was warm enough that he didn't need blankets. He put on the stupid thing from Stark and closed his eyes, hoping for an inky black dream instead of a nightmare.


	3. Not so Bad Afterall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky returns home and sometimes paranoia gets in the way of dates.

Living with Clint had proved to be a good idea. Bucky had gotten a haircut, remembered how much he loved children, learned about farming, he had just become happier. When Stark told him Steve would be back that week, he was kind of upset. He had had so much fun living with Clint. Laura had appreciated the help around the kitchen and loved Bucky's recipes. Cooper talked about having a metal arm just like Bucky's when he was older. Lila had gotten to braid Bucky's hair many times before he had cut it. She had been happy to see that it was still at a length to have small, simple braids in.

Bucky decided he'd start volunteering to help children when he got back home. Clint had been so excited to hear that and told him a dozen different places he could help at. Buck promised to stop at every one and help whoever he could. A plane was sent to pick Bucky up the day after he had said all his goodbyes to the children and Laura. He couldn't say goodbye to Clint since he'd most likely see him soon. Stark would make him come up for a party when all the Avengers were back from their mission.

Bucky hated planes. It was mostly airports since his arm was made of metal. Pepper had promised it was a private jet and he'd be able to board with little to no problems. There was always a problem with his arm but a short phone call to Stark made all the workers back off and let him board the stupid jet.

The jet was much nicer on the inside. It had a small bar that was stocked with all sorts of drinks and food. Bucky grabbed a plum from the fruit bowl and sat down in one of the plush seats. Soon the jet was off and he was headed home with no more problems. He had kept the flower crown Lila had given him, even though the flowers had long since died and browned. He learned Clint had a whole photo album on his phone just for Bucky and his children interacting. It was mostly them being asleep, but he had ones of Bucky and Lila making flower crowns.

Bucky smiled and made a mental note to ask Clint for those pictures. Natasha had showed him a place where he could turn pictures on his phone to physical pictures. He was going to frame all of them. His apartment would be a thousand times cuter.

The jet landed and Steve was at the airport waiting for Bucky. He felt like he knew exactly what Steve was going to ask him about since Tony was a two-faced little fuck. Bucky slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and headed towards his friend. Steve smiled and hugged him tightly once he was close enough.

"It was so boring there. I wish you would've answered your phone. I sent you a lot of picture though. C'mon, let's get you home."

Bucky was taken aback by Steve's words. Maybe he had forgotten what he had heard? He didn't ask though and instead walked with Steve back to his apartment, half listening to what he was talking about. The mission had been successful and they had uncovered more information on Hydra.

Buck unlocked his door and walked in, missing the homey smell from Clint's. Maybe he'd ask Laura some tips on how to get his apartment to seem more like a home. Steve shoved Bucky in since he had stopped in the doorway and was blocking the way.

"How was Clint's? I felt bad for sending you there but I knew you'd be safe. Plus you got a haircut. It looks good."

"Thanks. Lila was sad when it got cut. She really liked braiding it. Clint took a picture of when she said I had hair like Rapunzel and had flowers braided in it."

Steve smiled at the thought of that and leaned against a counter in the kitchen.

"How was being around kids?"

"Good. I'm Nathaniel's godfather now, Cooper wants a metal arm, and Lila called me pretty a lot. She did my makeup once, it was interesting."

Bucky headed to his bedroom to grab his phone. He had shut it off and put it in a drawer while Steve had been there because Tony would text him all the time about his sleep habits. Turning it on had been a mistake because he suddenly had a million messages.

It was still mostly Tony. Updating him on his dreams and the thing he was creating for Bucky to wear everyday instead of just to bed. Next to the amount of Tony's was Steve's with all the "wish you were here" texts and pictures from the mission.

Bucky sent a message to Clint, asking for all the pictures from his time there and Laura's cellphone number."Why do you want her number? You got the hots for my wife?" was the reply Bucky got before Clint sent the number and then began sending him picture after picture. 

He didn't notice Steve behind him because he was absorbed into the pictures. Clint had sent all the pictures of Bucky and the kids falling asleep in odd places, then it was Bucky playing with the kids, Bucky and Lila wearing flower crowns, Bucky and Cooper playing with cars, Bucky holding Nathaniel, Bucky helping Laura in the kitchen...

"I didn't know you loved kids so much..."

"Fucking Hell- Steve you dirt bag, a man should be able to look at his phone without someone watching over his damn shoulder!"

Steve backed away at those words. He shouldn't have been watching Bucky. He was one hundred percent in the wrong there.

"I should have let you stay longer. It was good for you to be away from the city."

"It was nice but I missed some things-"

"What could you have possibly missed? It looks like you had a great time there."

"Steve, do you not remember the call Tony added you in? I missed you, you oaf."

Steve's cheeks turned pink at those words. 

"Stark never added me to a call. He did, but never with you. Bucky do you mean that-"

"I'm ending the Stark bloodline. I'll be back in about an hour."

Bucky buried his face into his hands and groaned loudly. He should've asked before he mentioned it. Of course Stark was lying. When wasn't he? He was going to thank Tony for helping him but now he was just going to kick his ass.

"Buck, I missed you too. I sent you a text every day about how much I missed you. There's no need to be embarrassed or hurt Tony. It's okay."

"It just feels weird. I really wanted to stay at Clint's but I also wanted to see you."

Steve hugged Bucky tightly. They stood there in silence. Bucky didn't know how long they stood there, but the touch felt nice so he wasn't going to complain.

"What are you going to make for dinner? I'm starving."

"I haven't been home for about three months, any food I have is probably gross by now."

"Chinese then? Bruce told me there's a new restaurant downtown somewhere."

"Chinese sounds fine."

Steve grinned and checked his phone.

"I'll look for you. You can change from your comfy flight clothes."

Bucky looked down at his sweatpants and shrugged before starting to strip.

"Woah, Buck, I'm still in here-"

"Like you've never seen me change before, Stevie. It's fine. I'm not getting naked."

Bucky pushed off his sweatpants, grabbing a pair of jeans from his dresser before pulling them on. He was wearing an olive t-shirt and decided it was good enough to keep on. Laura had bought it for him because she caught him staring at it. He realized most of the purchases other people made for him was because he stared. He had stared at the kitchen in this apartment, stared at the shirt Laura bought him... If only staring at Nathaniel would've worked like that too.

"Bruce sent me the address while you were zoning out in your dresser."

Bucky snorted softly and looked at Steve.

"Bite me, Rogers."

"Not right now, Barnes."

They headed out to the restaurant, Bucky wishing they would've taken a car because Steve sucked with navigation. They had been walking for almost half an hour and Bucky still didn't have food in his stomach.

"It should be right here."

"Steve, a guy has been following us since we left my apartment," Bucky said softly, moving closer to Steve.

"What-" Steve went to look back at him but Bucky grabbed his hand which luckily shifted the blonde's attention to his hand.

"It's probably nothing. Stark says I have paranoia."

"You don't have paranoia."

Bucky shrugged and grabbed his phone from his pocket, looking up restaurants near their current location.

"Chinese is out of the question since we're utterly lost, we should find somewhere else. Try again a different day."

Steve nodded, pulling Bucky to a stop so he could look at the phone too. Bucky became nervous when the man presumably following them did not walk past. A quick glance over Steve's shoulder showed him to be there still, appearing to be window shopping.

"Steve-" 

Bucky watched as the man suddenly walked past them, Steve kept asking what since Buck did say his name and then go silent.

"Buck, you gotta talk to me. What?"

"Nothing- I'm just hungry. What sounds good around here?"

"There's Thai food right around the corner. That's close to Chinese right?"

"No, but I'll eat just about anything right now."

Bucky proceeded to do just that. After ordering half the menu between the two of them, Bucky had consumed more than half of it. Steve insisted they share since they had never ate Thai food before. Each plate was nearly split down the middle, some dishes Steve liked more than Bucky and vice versa though.

The incident with the man on the street was long forgotten as they walked back to Bucky's apartment.

"I need groceries. We should go shopping tomorrow."

"Gross, you're making me think about all the food that went bad at my apartment while I stayed with you. I'm going to have to get a new fridge."

"A whole new apartment."

"Maybe I'll just move in with you. Your apartment is better than mine."

Bucky didn't respond to that. He would be okay with Steve living with him, he'd at least know he was safe. The only problem was Sam Wilson. Sam was like Steve's over protective father and still had issues trusting Bucky. If he ignored the Sam issue, there was almost no downside to Steve living with him. The upsides outweighed the downsides though...

"I think you should. I don't see a reason why not."

Steve stopped and stared at his friend, suddenly feeling conflicted. Did he really want to move in with Bucky? He had practically lived with him before the mission. That was just to make sure Bucky wasn't being reckless. Or was that the only reason?

"Alright then, Buck. We can head over to my apartment tomorrow and get all my stuff."

"Cool."

Bucky smiled and held his hand out to Steve who took it eagerly. They walked hand in hand together. Steve would yell things at the people who made comments towards them. Bucky would just laugh because if they could see it was Captain America and the former Winter Soldier they wouldn't be talking. Thankfully they were shielded by the darkness of the night with only the occasional street light revealing who they were.

Bucky disarmed the alarm after walking in and watched Steve close the door behind him. The events after that felt like a dream. Who would've even thought the two boys from Brooklyn, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, two bodies inseparable by any force, would be in such an intimate situation?

Bucky stared over at Steve, watching him struggle to keep his eyes open. 

"I love you," Steve mumbled sleepily.

"I know," Bucky said softly.

Steve had said that to him over and over but he wouldn't bring himself to say it yet. He was scared because the last time he had almost said it he fell off a train. Instead, Bucky just watched the steady rise and fall of Steve's chest as he slept soundly.

Bucky looked up as he heard his cell phone go off. He was able to escape from Steve's arms and search for his pants. He grabbed the phone and groaned softly as he saw it was Stark.

"Hello?" He had answered his cell after walking out of the bedroom. There was no need to wake up Steve when he looked so peaceful asleep.

"Barnes, are you aware that I have access to your arm?"

Bucky leaned against the hallway wall and sighed before answering with, "I know now. Why?"

"It tracks your heart rate. You nearly sent me into a heart attack, Barnes."

"Do I have to ask for your permission to be with Steve?"

"Heavens no, Barnes. At least now I know you aren't fighting for your life."

"Well-"

"I don't want to know the details, Barnes! I was just making sure you weren't dying because then Rogers would be after me. Go back to your blonde."

Bucky laughed softly as Stark hung up. He headed back into the bedroom, finding Steve staring at the door with tired eyes.

"Your phone woke me up..."

"Stark just loves to ruin the moment."

Steve nodded before yawning. Bucky walked over towards the bed and hummed.

"Round two?"

"Round two."


	4. Feeling Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Buck go shopping and then Steve throws a fit.

Steve had been living with Bucky for almost a year now. Their relationship had flourished and now Bucky wasn't as afraid to say he loved Steve or that his boyfriend was Captain America. Steve didn't care at all. He'd tell anyone that looked his way that Bucky was his boyfriend.

Steve also wasn't afraid of PDA at all and would constantly give Bucky small kisses, hold his hand, feed him bites of his food at restaurants, he had even tried to convince Bucky to do the cliche milkshake thing once but Bucky said no. Clint liked to tease them and asked who would be wearing the poodle skirt by the jukebox.

Bucky rolled over in bed and opened his eyes when he didn't feel Steve next to him. He decided to get up and headed to the kitchen, stopping by the archway as he heard Sam.

"I know you guys were best friends and all before he became brainwashed, but I still don't like it. He's tried to kill you how many times?"

"I invited you over for coffee, Wilson, not your shitty opinions on my boyfriend."

"I'm just saying, Steve."

Bucky rolled his eyes and walked into the dining room, draping himself over Steve's shoulders. 

"Good morning, Buck."

"Mornin', Stevie. You didn't tell me you were inviting over the bird."

"I didn't think you'd wake up before he left to be honest."

"I'm right here you know!"

Bucky looked up at Sam and gave him an unimpressed look before kissing Steve's cheek. Steve smiled and offered his cup of coffee to Bucky who happily took a sip. Sam pretended to gag before finishing off his coffee.

"I'm going to leave before I see anything I shouldn't."

"I agree. Goodbye," Bucky hummed before placing light kisses on to Steve's neck.

Steve just laughed before pushing Bucky away.

"You can stay for breakfast if you'd like. I put cinnamon rolls in the oven before you got here."

Sam pursed his lips as he thought. He didn't want to see anymore of these two being mushy, but he did love Steve's baking.

"Okay. I'll stay for breakfast."

Steve grinned and got up to take the cinnamon rolls out just as the timer went off. He grabbed three plates from the cupboard and put a large cinnamon roll on each of them. He set the three plates on the table, kissing the top of Bucky's head before sitting down across from Sam and starting to eat.

Bucky took his seat next to Steve and ate his cinnamon roll, ignoring the conversation his boyfriend and Sam were having. He almost fell asleep while eating but Tony walked into the apartment, disabling the alarm almost instantly.

"Barnes, the man I've been wanting to see! Come outside, I need to talk to you."

Bucky looked up at Stark, his cheeks stuffed with food.

"I'd rather not."

Steve swatted Bucky's arm and whispered, "Don't talk with your mouth full."

Tony grabbed Bucky's arm and pulled him out into the hallway. Bucky looked back at his cinnamon roll sadly before Tony shut the front door.

"You ruined breakfast."

"That's unimportant right now-"

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, Stark."

"The cinnamon roll was as big as the plate and you ate half, you'll be fine."

Bucky pouted but nodded.

"Yeah, but I coulda ate it all. What's so important anyways? You know Sam is talking trash about me while I'm away."

"Yes and your wonderboy will tell him to knock it off and be polite."

"True, but back to your problems."

"I don't have problems, well I do but I only tell my therapist that. I just came to tell you that Steve living with you again has nearly brought an end to your nightmares. Good news for you, yeah?"

"I mean, I guess. I kinda want to convince him to move to a bigger apartment. I don't know how well that will work though."

Tony pulled out his phone, quickly sending a text before looking at Bucky with a smile.

"It'll be waiting for you when ever you're ready. Three bedroom, two bath, huge kitchen. You'll love it."

"Why three bedroom?"

"Oh you poor innocent baby. Steve's always been a family kind of guy. I'm sure he'll try to encourage you to adopt with him. I support it one hundred percent. Don't tell him about the apartment. I'll have everything set up except for the kid room in case you get a baby or an older kid. Can't get an eight year old and have a crib in there."

"Thanks Stark-"

"I never want to hear those words again. Go finish your heart attack on a plate."

Bucky was pleased to do that and was back at the table in a heartbeat to scarf down the rest of his cinnamon roll. Steve and Sam were still talking about something or another. Bucky finished his cinnamon roll and half of Sam's before deciding he was too full.

"I should head out, burn off all the calories I just ate."

"Bye, bird."

Sam stuck his tongue out at Bucky before heading towards the door. 

"Sam, wait."

Bucky watched as Sam and Steve walked outside just like he and Tony had done earlier. He didn't try to listen in on their conversation and instead started cleaning up. Steve tended to make a fuck ton of dishes while cooking or baking because he'd think he'd be done using something, put it in the sink, and then actually need it two seconds later.

He didn't keep track of time but he got most of the dishes washed before Steve walked back into the apartment. Neither of them spoke as Bucky washed the dishes and Steve put away the single cinnamon roll that was left in the pan.

"What did Tony want?"

"He was just telling me the nightmares are almost non-existent since you started staying here again."

Steve seemed to like that answer and continued to help Bucky clean up.

"We should watch a movie tonight. Clint suggested one while I stayed with him, but we never got to it."

"What's it called?"

"The Imitation Game. He said it's really good. It's about the guy that cracked Enigma."

"Really? It does sounds good."

"It has the guy that plays Sherlock in it."

"Should be amazing then. We can look for it when we get groceries. I almost didn't get to make those cinnamon rolls because we are low on everything."

"Do I have to wear real clothes?"

"Would I ever tell you to wear real clothes unless it was to an event?"

Bucky smiled and kissed Steve's cheek, whispering, "This is why I love you," before heading to the bedroom to change out of his pajamas.

He grabbed a pair of loose fitting jeans, pulling them on after debating on them or sweatpants. He didn't feel like sweatpants today though. He grabbed a grey shirt with a red star in the middle before pulling on one of Steve's sweatshirts.

The sweatshirt was a bit big, but it was black with Steve's stupid shield on it. Bucky enjoyed wearing clothes that had the shield on it since Steve always seemed to grin when he'd see his boyfriend wearing his symbol.

"I made a list. Are you ready-?" Steve cut himself off as he watched Bucky run his hands though his hair.

With his arms raised the sweatshirt was also raised, and the loose jeans revealed the band of his Calvin Klein boxers. Steve still didn't understand why Tony bought that brand for Bucky, but he made a mental note to thank him since they made Bucky's ass look amazing.

"'M ready. Do you think anyone would notice if I wore those boots Natasha bought me?"

The boots in question were Uggs. Nat had bought them as a joke but jokes on her because they were Bucky's favorite shoes to wear around the apartment.

"If anyone notices and comments I'll personally punch them."

"Can't wait to see the headlines now. Captain America punches out civilian that commented on the Winter Soldier's shoes!"

"You aren't the Winter Soldier anymore, Buck."

"I know that, but the public doesn't seem to understand. How long is our list?"

As Bucky pulled on his boots he watched as Steve pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket.

"Decent. Like I said, we're almost out of everything."

"Thank God we still have coffee!"

Steve snorted before pulling on a pair of his running shoes. They walked out of the apartment and headed to the store together. Steve of course held Bucky's metal hand the entire time. Bucky appreciated it because then people focused on them holding hands instead of the fact his hand was made of metal.

Bucky crawled into the cart as soon as they walked into the store. Steve didn't mind and leaned over the handle as they walked around the aisles. They both took turns throwing in things they didn't need.

They received looks from people since Bucky was a grown man sitting in the cart like a child. Steve didn't mind though and tried his best not to let Bucky hear them since they were both having fun. 

"Steve. Steven. Steven Grant. Steven Grant Rogers. I want plums."

"You always want plums. We aren't in the fruit section yet, just wait."

"I want plums now."

"Now I'm not buying you plums."

Bucky leaned his head back so he could look up at Steve before whispering, "I will do anything for plums."

Steve just rolled his eyes and continued to shop in order of the aisles. At one point he forgot Bucky had asked for chips and left him in the middle of an aisle to go back one to get the chips.

"What kind of chips did you want again?"

"I'm always a slut for Doritos!"

Steve laughed the entire time he headed back to Bucky, carrying an armful of different kinds of Doritos. When they finally got to produce he was done laughing and filled two bags with plums and handed them to Bucky.

"You're cleaning the whole apartment when we get home."

"What? That isn't what I meant by anything!"

"I know, but it needs to get done and you offered."

Bucky pouted as Steve pushed the cart up to check out. He stayed seated, trying to keep his pout as Steve grabbed out groceries. He was being an ass and would keep brushing his hands against Bucky intentionally.

The cashier seemed to just ignore their actions and rung them up with little to no questions excluding the generic small talk between cashier and customer. She was a nice lady who only looked to be about twenty. 

"Steve, we bought too much. How are we going to carry all this home?"

Steve glanced at the growing pile of grocery bags and shrugged. "We should have thought this through."

Steve pulled out the unnecessary bottle of champagne Bucky had grabbed and set it on the belt. It was the only time he had gotten out of the cart and it was because Steve wanted orange juice and Bucky went on about some drink Laura had made one day on the farm.

"I'm sorry to ask but you're buying alcohol and at the moment I'm required to ask for a form of ID- From both of you-"

Bucky sighed dramatically as he stood up in the cart to grab his wallet from his back pocket. He searched through the whole thing before finally finding his old military ID and handed it to Steve. Steve just stared at it before handing it and his driver's license to the girl.

"You don't have a license?"

"Not many people want to get in a car with an ex-assassin to do a driving test, Stevie. Maybe I'll ask Stark to make me one."

"You're Steve Rogers? Like Captain America?"

Steve just nodded and continued to put the groceries up. He'd probably have to call Stark and ask for a car to pick them up. Tony was going to laugh at him.

"My friends and I think you're really cool- And I think James is really cool too-"

Bucky grabbed his ID from the girl when she held them out and stared at her.

"It's Bucky."

"I'm sorry-"

"It's fine. It's just James sounds too formal."

"I wrote one of my history papers on you. I got an A."

"Fuck yeah! Good job!"

Bucky held up his hand and high fived the girl who almost fainted with excitement from having Captain America and Bucky Barnes come through her line.

"Your total is $245.98."

"Woah, Buck, what did you keep putting in when I wasn't looking? It should not be that much."

"I put in a lot, okay? I don't look at prices anymore now that Tony pays for all my stuff."

Steve had to fight the urge to roll his eyes and slid his card. The machine made an awful beeping sound.

"Does your card have a chip?"

"A what?"

"May I see it?"

Steve handed over the piece of plastic and watched her point to a grey spot on the card.

"That's a chip. You'll have to insert your card."

"Well that's new. I just got used to even using this thing and they change it up."

Bucky escaped from the cart and started putting plastic bags on to his arms as Steve finished paying.

"Here's your receipt, have a nice day."

Steve smiled at the girl before grabbing his share of the bags.

"So, are we going to suffer and carry these all the way back or call Stark and ask for a car?"

"Stark can eat a dick, but we should probably ask for a car, yeah."

"Buck, we're in public. There's children present."

"So?"

The blonde shook his head and grabbed his phone from his pocket, quickly texting Tony their predicament and asking for a car.

"This would be easier if he just gave us a car."

"We can buy one ourselves, Buck."

"I know, but if Stark wants to keep monitoring me twenty-four seven he might as well give me a car."

Though the point made sense, Steve still shook his head and walked outside the store upon spotting one of Stark's incognito cars.

"Hop in boys, we're going shopping."

"We already went. Clearly."

"Shut up, Bucky. Put your shit in the trunk."

"How rude. Steve, kick his ass again."

Steve chuckled and set the bags he was carrying into the trunk before helping Bucky put his bags in too.

"I'll kick his ass later. Right now I'd like to get home with our groceries."

"Groceries are important," Bucky mumbled before getting into the seat behind Stark.

"I'm not actually taking you shopping, just Steve. I need his master opinion on style."

Steve got into the backseat on the other side. Bucky immediately moved to sit in the middle seat and leaned his head on Steve's shoulder.

"Don't do anything in my backseat please. I just got this car."

"What would we do Stark? This?" Bucky asked before kissing Steve's neck.

Steve laughed and shoved Bucky away for the second time that day.

"We won't do anything, Tony. I won't anyways."

"I trust Captain America's words. Better not do anything Barnes or I'll make you smack yourself."

Bucky pouted before sitting up. Steve and Tony talked about something, Bucky wasn't listening. He noticed he had a tendency to not listen when Steve talked to anyone else. He couldn't remember when he started doing that.

"Buck? Hey, we're at the apartment."

Bucky blinked before looking at Steve.

"I know."

"We've been sitting here for five minutes."

"I don't want to leave you."

Steve smiled softly before kissing Bucky's cheek.

"I'll help you carry everything up, then I'll go with Stark. Okay?"

"Fine."

Bucky followed Steve out of the car and grabbed the rest of the bags from the trunk before heading inside the apartment building.

"I'm so sick of stairs."

"You're a super soldier, you can climb some stairs."

"I can't do it, Steve. I'm going down."

"You are carrying your chips. Do not go down!"

"I'm falling again, Steve!"

"Bucky! Knock it off!"

He stopped when he noticed Steve had stopped. They both stood there on the stairs, standing silently. Buck had forgotten Steve didn't find his sense of humor funny. He watched as a few other tenants walked by, giving Steve concerned looks.

"I'm sorry, doll."

"It's fine, Buck. Let's just bring these up."

Bucky nodded and went around Steve to carry up his bags. He heard the blonde following behind him and took that as a sign to keep going. He unlocked his door and shut off the alarm before setting his bags on the table. 

Steve set the bags he was carrying down on the table before hugging Bucky. Bucky stood there in shock for a second before hugging him back.

"I'm sorry I freaked out a little."

"It's okay. I forgot you don't quite enjoy my humor like Stark."

Steve nuzzled Bucky's cheek.

"You need to shave. You're getting stubble."

Bucky just smiled before saying, "Go meet Stark before he leaves you."

Steve gave Bucky a quick kiss before leaving the apartment. Bucky sighed heavily as soon as the door shut and started to put the groceries away. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and started playing some of the songs Tony had downloaded on it.

Bucky enjoyed the new music and found himself dancing around the kitchen as he put the copious amounts of groceries away. He forgot about the scene in the stairwell, about Stark being an asshole, about how much he missed Clint, Laura, and the kids. He was focused on the music and just putting the groceries away. 

Eventually the chore was over and Bucky decided he could take a well deserved nap. He went to the living room and laid down on the couch, hugging one of the throw pillows close to his chest. He hummed one of the songs he had been playing earlier that he really liked. He fell asleep in the middle of the song. He didn't hear the door slam or Steve stomping through the apartment, which is surprising because he had been changed into an enhanced super soldier with even more enhanced skills. 

Steve found Bucky asleep on the couch. He stopped his rampage to stare at his beautiful boyfriend, sleeping peacefully. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Buck sleeping so well. He leaned down and kissed his forehead, laughing softly as his boyfriend shifted and opened his eyes slowly.

"Morning, Stevie. How long have you been here?"

"A while. Did you not hear me walk in? I may have slammed the door and then stomped around for a while."

"Mmm... No. I was dreaming about when we were kids."

"That sounds cute."

"No. It was the first time you got your ass kicked. When you fainted as soon as I picked you up. You talk in your sleep, or you used to. That's when you first told me you loved me."

Steve remembered that day. It had been awful and his mother had nearly cried while she patched him up.

"Sarah was so mad at you. You were so cute though, trying to not flinch when she'd wipe your cuts and telling her you were fine."

"Okay Buck, I know what happened. You can stop now."

Bucky laughed sleepily before adding, "That's when I fell for you though. I had always kinda wondered, but seeing you try to assure your poor, distressed mother that you were fine while covered in cuts and bruises... You had heart, and you had mine."

"Jesus, you're such a sap..."

Bucky smiled before sitting up. Steve sat down next to Buck and rubbed his face with his hands.

"James, I have to go on another mission."

"What-"

"That's what Tony wanted to talk to me about. It's really important that I go."

"What's so important? Why can't they send literally anyone else?"

"It just is, Buck."

"You haven't even been back that long!"

"I know."

Bucky stood up from the couch and gripped his hair tightly. Sure he had been back for a year, but they had been separated for so long. He didn't want to be left alone again.

"You could go to Clint's again."

"No. I can stay here. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not a child, Steven!"

Steve looked up at Bucky with a sad look. Bucky avoided looking because he knew that look. The sad, kicked puppy look. He wasn't going to get his way this time. Bucky was pissed and he was not going to stop being pissed until he felt like it. So, he went to the bedroom and grabbed Steve's pillow and a blanket. He looked his boyfriend in the eyes as he set the items down on the coffee table.

"Bucky- No- I'm sorry- I have no choice-"

Bucky just gave a smile before heading back to the bedroom, locking the door behind him. It was ridiculous to be mad at Steve for something he couldn't control, Bucky knew that, but he was mad at Tony and he could do nothing to him. He had to take the small victory and punish Steve instead. He was proud of himself when he heard Steve talking on the phone.

"-of course he's mad, you're sending me away. He has sent me to the couch because of your actions. Yes, this is all your fault."

He unlocked the bedroom door and peeked out, looking at Steve.

"I'm not breaking a door just to make sure he's okay."

Bucky snorted softly as Steve turned a little. 

"I gotta go-"

Steve set his phone down on the coffee table and wrung his hands nervously.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. I'm mad at Stark."

Bucky walked out to the living room and opened his arms. Steve instantly hugged Bucky tightly.

"I don't want you to go, but if Stark says it's important you go it probably is."

"It is."

"I'm staying here though. I'll be okay, I promise."

Steve smiled and set his forehead on Bucky's.

"I know you'll be okay. I only sent you to Clint's because I know you love kids."

"You are just the best boyfriend. And the best boyfriend gets to make dinner for the lesser boyfriend. I'm thinking pasta."

"You're always thinking pasta!"

"I think an Italian helped brainwash me."

"God, stop. I'll make you pasta."

"Thank you."

Steve kissed the tip of Bucky's nose before heading to the kitchen. Bucky sat down on the couch and turned the TV on, flipping to a cooking channel. He watched intensely as the man frosted a cake perfectly. 

"Steve, I want cake for dessert."

"Hun, I don't have time to make you a cake."

"I'll help?"

"There won't be enough time for it to cool and then frost it. Do you want something else?"

"No. I want cake."

"I'm not making a cake."

Bucky pouted and turned off the TV. He slinked into the kitchen and sat down on the counter, away from where Steve was working. Steve would sneak kisses in while he was working, asking Bucky to taste things and then kissing him before making him taste something.

Buck smiled every time Steve did that. Soon enough though the food was done and he got to taste everything together. He moved from the counter to the table, waiting eagerly for Steve to set down his plate. The first bite made him moan because the food was amazing. Steve had always been the better chef between the two of them.

"I hope that was a good moan and not a this is absolutely disgusting moan."

"It was a Jesus Christ I would love to have sex with you on the table because this food is just so goddamn amazing moan."

Steve laughed and made himself a plate before sitting down across from Bucky. They enjoyed their dinner in silence before Steve spoke.

"I leave in the morning."

"Gross. How early?"

Steve hesitated before answering. "Around midnight."

"Steve that's in like three hours-"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You better make it up to me when you get back. As soon as we're done eating we're making dessert."

Steve just nodded and kept eating. He knew how to make it up to Bucky. They enjoyed the rest of their dinner before they made dessert. They made some custard pie Bucky had seen on TV yesterday. They ate the entire thing while they watched a cheesy action movie. 

Bucky would point out every time a hit wouldn't have actually landed and Steve would just nod in agreement and eat. Bucky fell asleep before the movie ended. Steve carried him to the bedroom and set him down on his side of the bed, tucking him in before kissing his forehead gently. He hated to leave in the middle of the night, but he needed to. He was leaving for a very good reason.


	5. What is Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise appears.

Bucky woke up to an empty bed. He knew it was happening this time, but it still made him sad. He rolled over and checked his phone, finding a text from Laura and another from Steve. He smiled as he read Laura's since it had a video attached of Nathaniel saying Bucky. He was more or less just saying "buggy" but Buck considered that enough. 

The text from Steve was long. It had vague hints as to what the mission was, how much he missed Bucky already, and that he loved him. Bucky just sent "you're such a sap" before getting out of bed. He looked through his phone as he pulled on workout clothes. Steve always said they needed to bond, he thought as he called the number on the contact.

"Sam Wilson."

"This is Bucky-"

The call was ended abruptly and Bucky groaned in frustration before calling again.

"Leave me alone, Barnes."

"Steve's gone on a mission and I wanted to see if you were in town."

"And so what if I am?"

"Do you wanna go on a run?"

Running was Sam's weakness. Being able to go on runs with Steve had been good for him since he was able to build up speed to keep up with him. He couldn't imagine running with Bucky though.

"I'll be over in a minute. You're treating me to breakfast afterwards though."

"Alright, birdy, I can do that."

Sam hung up again and Bucky went into the bathroom to pull his hair back. It had grown quite a bit since his haircut at Clint's. He thought about getting it cut again, he just didn't know where to go. Maybe he'd ask Pepper to cut it similar to Stark's but a little longer. Steve had gone on about some kid's undercut though. That might look good.

Bucky was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. Either Sam was becoming super fast, took a car, or Bucky spent too much time thinking about his hair. He threw it up into a ponytail before going to answer the door. Sam was standing in the doorway, wearing a black shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. He looked like he was having a lazy day instead of a run.

"You're wearing a track suit?"

"Shut up."

"I change my mind, I'm not being seen with someone wearing a track suit."

"Oh my God, I'll change."

Sam walked into the apartment and walked around as Bucky changed into a pair of black sweats.

"Is a shirt mandatory?"

"You're taking me to breakfast afterwards so yes. Most restaurants don't allow shirtless patrons."

Bucky snorted and pulled on a red shirt. He walked out of the bedroom after slipping on a pair of running shoes.

"Better?"

"You look a little more presentable, yeah."

Bucky rolled his eyes before asking, "Are we just going to run in the park or are we running to where you want breakfast?"

"I'll decide on the way."

"Please decide now. I'm not running around the whole city because you're an ass."

"Fine. We'll run there. It's on the other side of town though."

"Jesus Wilson."

Sam just smirked before heading out, Bucky right behind him. Their run was silent unlike the runs Sam had with Steve. Running was like their therapy. One would talk while the other listened. Mostly it was Steve talking about missions or Bucky, Sam's were always about missions since he did not have a partner.

"Are we almost there?"

"Nope!"

"You're gonna kill me, Sam."

"That's the plan."

Bucky groaned loudly but continued on behind Sam. He could easily just leave him. Slip into an alley and just walk home. It was that easy. He couldn't do that though because he knew Sam would bring it up with Steve at some point and then Steve would get mad because Bucky initiated the run to start with.

Sam eventually quit running and stopped in front of a pizza place.

"Really? Pizza?"

"Hey, you never said where we needed to eat breakfast."

"You're so strange, Wilson."

They walked into the place and sat down in a booth in a corner. A waitress walked up to them with a smile on her face and handed the duo menus.

"My name is Sarah and I'll be your server today. Would you like anything to drink?"

"Coffee and a water please."

"Alright, and you?"

Bucky blinked as the girl's attention was suddenly on him.

"Uh-" He had to clear his throat. "Just water."

"I'll be right back with those."

Sam watched her walked away before looking at Bucky.

"Falling for the waitress, Barnes?"

"What? No. Steve's mom's name was Sarah. She even kinda looked like her when she was young."

"Oh. Weird. Steve never talks about his mom."

"It's a hard subject for him. Anyway, what kind of pizza do you usually get?"

"Me? I'm kind of feeling adventurous. What do you want?"

"I will eat anything, Wilson."

"Damn. Okay. I'll order for us then."

"Get bread sticks."

"Will do." Sam said with a chuckle as Sarah walked over carrying a small tray.

She set down their drinks before taking the order from Sam. Bucky didn't listen because he honestly didn't care what Sam ordered, unless there was pineapple on it.

"Did you put pineapple-"

"Gross. No."

"Thank God."

Bucky slouched down in the booth, digging his hands into his pockets to grab his phone. He opened Snapchat and sent a picture of Sam to Steve with the caption "we can get along" before putting his phone away.

"So where is Steve again?"

"All he could say was mission. Couldn't say why or where."

"Weird. Stark's always had the never say why rule but he just started the never say where. It's like he's purposely making Steve leave."

"Dude, I'm trying to befriend you."

Their conversation was cut off by their waitress returning with a pizza pan in her hand.

"Meat lovers with extra cheese, right?"

"Yes ma'am."

Sarah set the pan down between them before setting down two plates.

"Bread sticks will be out in a second."

Bucky stared at the pizza, his mouth watering from anticipation. Sam took the first piece and Buck eagerly took the second. He moaned softly as he took a bite.

"This is almost the best thing I've ever put in my mouth."

"Gross, Barnes! I'm trying to eat too!"

Bucky laughed and Sarah set down another pan that had bread sticks in it. They thanked her in unison before continuing to stuff themselves with pizza and bread sticks. Steve would probably not approve since he wanted Bucky to keep a well maintained diet, but that went out the window as soon as Steve left.

When they finished off the pizza, mostly Bucky since Sam said only a super soldier or competitive eater could finish it off, Bucky paid and then they headed back to his apartment. Sam said his goodbye before Bucky headed up flights of stairs to his apartment.

It was quiet. Bucky knew it would be, but it still made him feel unsettled. He started a pot of coffee after locking the door and alarming the system. A shower sounded good after having to run and then walk across the city. He went to the bedroom and grabbed some of Steve's pajamas before heading to the bathroom to shower.

The water was freezing. Bucky for once cared about this. He slowly turned the knob to include hot water. The water got warmer slowly. It warmed his skin, turning it from having goose bumps to a light shade of pink. He quit playing with the temperature when it was tolerable and then began to wash himself off. He usually showered as soon as he was done working out, so having to sit down and eat had made him feel disgusting.

He sighed softly as he stepped out of the shower, drying himself off before drying his hair. He pulled on Steve's pajamas before heading back to the kitchen. Bucky made himself a cup of coffee before going to the living room. Clint had "FaceTimed" him and helped him figure out how to work his smart TV. He had learned Netflix was a wonderful new thing and had already started watching a TV series.

He wrapped himself up in Steve's blanket before starting up the TV and his new favorite show. He had just recently started it, Stark said it was good. Tony knew when shows and movies were good so Bucky had listened to him for once and started it.

"What are you watching?"

The sound of Steve's voice nearly sent him into a heart attack since missions at the shortest lasted weeks not days!

"Why the fuck are you home so soon?!" Bucky asked as he set his coffee cup on the table to avoid spilling.

"Mission's over, Buck. It was important but short."

"Can I get a text next time or something? Fuck. I almost spilled hot coffee everywhere."

Steve sat down on the couch next to Bucky and snorted.

"You're fine. Back to my question, what are you watching?"

"I dunno. A show Stark put in my queue because he thought it was good."

"Huh. I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?"

Steve just smiled as he said, "Nat, bring him in."

Natasha walked into the living room carrying a small bundle in her arms. Bucky stared at her before covering his mouth with his hands.

"Steve, did you steal a baby?!"

Steve laughed before holding his arms out towards Natasha who set the baby down in them. Nat sat down on the other side of Bucky with a smile.

"He's been doing the adoption papers for the past year in secret. He wanted to surprise you."

"Jesus, Steve."

"I think he's adorable."

"Where's he from?"

"Got him from Romania. I thought it meant something to you since it's where you were in hiding."

Bucky rubbed his face with his hands before holding them out. Steve instantly put the small, sleeping baby in his arms with a grin.

"What's his name?"

"Nicolae Buchanan Rogers."

"What makes you think I'd take your last name? I happen to like Barnes."

"We can still change it-"

"I'm kidding it's fine."

Bucky stared lovingly at the baby in his arms. He couldn't believe his boyfriend would do this. Any of this. His hair was the same shade of blonde as Steve's, and upon waking he saw his eyes were the same grey as his own.

"How did you find this perfect baby? He looks like if we had a baby."

"Right? Nat and I spent a lot of time finding the perfect surrogate. It's what we did while we weren't too busy with the mission. You should've seen her Buck, she had the same hair and eye color as you. As soon as I saw her I knew it would be perfect."

Bucky offered a finger to the baby in his arms and smiled as it was pulled into his mouth.

"Wait. You did that over a year ago and this baby is nearly a new born."

"I know. After I was positive you'd want children I called her and the hospital and said to start the process. Sadly I wasn't there to help her with anything, I feel awful about that. I paid her four times the amount they said though because I felt she deserved it."

"Wasn't Stark pissed? You were suppose to go over there for a mission."

"No. He's the one that convinced me to convince you. Something about a white picket fence. I'm not really sure. The argument was fake."

"Well... I love him."

Natasha brushed her finger against the baby's chubby cheeks and smiled.

"I'm going to head out. I got to see this cutie all day and I think he should spend some time with his daddy."

"Bye Natasha. Thanks for your help."

"Bye Nat. I'm so happy you helped Steve because little Nicolae is perfect."

"It's no problem, Buck. Enjoy the rest of your night."

Bucky and Steve said another good bye before Natasha left.

"So Stark has another apartment for us somewhere. With a bedroom for Nicolae."

"When did that happen?"

"Not too long ago. I just told him I wanted a bigger apartment and he got a three bedroom one."

"Wow. We should probably start moving in."

"It's all done but the nursery... Maybe we should do that together?"

"That would be fun. Take Nicolae shopping for his bedroom."

Bucky nodded and kissed his son's forehead gently.

"Does he have clothes?"

"Yeah. Nat bought the essentials for the next few days. I figured we'd get a house or something but Stark has the apartment set up-"

Steve was cut off by Bucky's phone ringing. The blonde grabbed and answered it since Buck's hands were full.

"Hello?"

"Steven! Barnes didn't mention wanting a house! I'll get that hooked up tomorrow! Again I'll leave the baby's room to you, but I'm going shopping with you. Pepper doesn't want a baby, and neither do I, but I would love to be an uncle."

"Uh- Okay Stark. I'll tell you when we head out."

"You better."

Steve made a confused face as Tony hung up suddenly. He set the phone back on the coffee table before moving closer to Bucky.

"How did Stark know what we were talking about?"

"He's stalking me. He probably has microphones in here. Hopefully there aren't any in the bedroom."

"Buck!"

"What? Sometimes you said weird shit in your sleep."

Steve rolled his eyes before hugging Bucky's waist and kissing his cheek. They sat on the couch for an hour, the TV still going on with the episodes as they cooed over Nicolae.

Bucky fell asleep holding Nicolae close to his chest as they both slept. Steve scooped up his boyfriend and carefully carried him and their baby to the bedroom. Steve hummed softly as he changed Nic's diaper and put him in pajamas before setting him back on Bucky's chest. He changed into pajamas before slipping into bed and pulling Bucky close. In the morning they would get to go shopping for things to put in the nursery, but for now they were all exhausted and didn't care they were all going bed at only eight.


	6. Trouble Was Bound to happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family goes shopping with noisy uncles.

Bucky knew as soon as he woke up today would be bad. Of course it was hard to accept that with such a cute baby snoozing on his chest and Steveolding both of them as close as humanly possible. He didn't know what was going to happen, but when it happened it would be bad.

His phone started to ring loudly. He made a mental note to turn the volume down before carefully maneuvering to grab it. Of course it was Tony.

"What?"

"It's almost eight, how has your baby not woken up yet?"

"I dunno. Was he suppose to?"

"Who is it?" Steve mumbled sleepily.

"Tony."

"Jesus. You're all still sleeping? Get your asses up and ready. I'll be over an hour. I'm going to treat you two to breakfast before we take the baby shopping."

"You do realize he doesn't care what's in his room for another few years, right?"

"I'm aware. I just want to be the best uncle."

With that Tony hung up and Bucky set the phone back on the nightstand.

"He already asked to be the godfather," Steve said with a yawn as he got up and headed out of the bedroom.

"Gross. I wanted Clint to be the godfather. He's going to be mad when he hears this."

Steve walked back into the bedroom with a bottle, shaking it as he sat down next to Bucky.

"He could have two godfathers."

"No, I want Nat to be the godmother. We can talk about this later. I'm going to shower while you try to wake up Nic."

Steve scooped up Nicolae with a hum. Bucky chuckled softly as he heard his little whimpers. He pushed aside clothes before deciding on a pair of skinny jeans and a black shirt with Clint's emblem.

Clint had bought it for him the same day Laura had bought him an entire wardrobe. He loved it since it had taken them a while to find it but when they found it Clint demanded they buy it. 

Steve looked up from Nic once he had started eating. He smiled when he saw the shirt.

"I think Clint should be the godfather. Clint and Laura. Natasha is Nathaniel's godmother, she doesn't need to have two godchildren."

Bucky nodded with a grin and kissed Steve's forehead.

"Thanks, doll."

Steve focused his attention back on Nicolae who had managed to drink most of the bottle. Bucky headed to the bathroom and jumped into the shower to quickly wash his hair. When he headed back to the bedroom, fully dressed and his hair only dripping a little, he saw Steve playing with little Nic's feet.

"Stevie, you're hogging the baby."

"I'm getting my time in before Stark steals him."

"He's still not the godfather."

"I know."

Steve got up from the bed and grabbed a change of clothes before going into the bathroom. Bucky kissed Nicolae's cheeks before grabbing him a pair of clothes and a new diaper.

"Aren't you just a cutie?" Bucky asked before bowling a raspberry on Nic's tummy.

Nicolae just squirmed and reached for Bucky's hair as his dad changed him and dressed him. Bucky smiled at the cute onesie his baby had on. He had to guess it was from Natasha.

He paired it with a pair of black pants before slipping a pair of white socks on Nic's feet.

"He's so goddamn cute," Steve gushed as he appeared into the bedroom.

Steve had broken the chain of outfits and was wearing a short sleeved blue shirt with stars on it. He looked like a dork, but Bucky wasn't going to tell him that.

"Who gets to carry the diaper bag all day?"

"Rock, paper, scissors?"

The two played the simple game which resulted in Steve having to carry around the bag. The bag itself wasn't the problem, it was the fact they both wanted to just hold Nicolae all day. Buck's phone went off again and he groaned loudly before answering.

"What?"

"I'm outside, bitches. Hurry up, I want to see my new nephew."

Bucky stood up from the bed, slipping his phone in his pocket before scooping up Nic who had managed to fall asleep again. He was buckled into his car seat before Steve and Bucky headed downstairs to meet Tony. He had a much safer looking car than usual and Bucky strapped down the car seat into the backseat.

Tony instantly moved from the front to the back to be near the baby.

"He's too precious. What kind of science was used in creating this baby?"

"May or may not have convinced a doctor to do a but of gene manipulation to get the looks just right."

"Steve Rogers, may I dare say you created a beautiful baby with or without manipulation?"

"You may," Steve said with a laugh before getting into the passenger side.

They didn't recognize Tony's new driver, but if he was driving this ugly minivan with a baby and Tony Stark he probably had a very thorough background check.

Tony and Bucky talked about Nicolae the entire way to the mall. Tony had explained that he knew a good share of people there and could get anything they wanted. Steve was happy about that since that meant they'd be able to baby proof the house effectively.

As soon as the car stopped Tony had Nic in a baby carrier that had been hidden from view from his jacket earlier.

"Am I getting my baby at all today?"

"Not unless he needs to be changed or fed, not likely Rogers. Also I told Parker he could join us. He seemed bummed about something, I don't really care. He was just bugging me and asked if he could come. He will be meeting us right about now."

As if on cue the spider child was parking a car next to the van. Bucky had to admit the kid was adorable in a little brother kind of way. He almost reminded Buck of Steve when he was younger.

"Hey guys!"

Steve waved at him before checking the diaper bag for the millionth time to make sure they had everything. Bucky smiled at the kid and shook his hand. He seemed amazed by the metal arm yet again before he moved on to Tony, gasping when he saw the baby.

"I wasn't told there would be a baby. Whose is he?"

"Mine and Buck's."

Bucky almost started laughing at the confused look on the boy's face.

"He's mostly Steve's. I just get to adopt him."

"Does that mean he cheated on you?"

"God I hope not otherwise I would steal his baby and never be seen again. We all know how well I go into hiding."

Steve elbowed Bucky before starting to walk towards the mall. Bucky really didn't want to go in, but Stark and Parker followed behind Steve. He hated crowded places.

As soon as they walked in his senses were overloaded with conversation and various smells. He caught up to Steve and grabbed his hand, staying close to him.

"It's okay, Buck," Steve assured softly as they walked.

Tony directed them to the first store. It was larger and filled with millions of colors. Stark had a mind of his own and just began to grab anything and everything as he walked with Nic. Peter stayed near Bucky and Steve since he didn't really know how to help in this store.

Stark ended up buying almost half the store, saying he needed to make sure his nephew was stylish from birth until he was old enough to dress himself. He also said the onesie Nicolae had on was a gift from him since he found the whole thing Avengers thing ironic now since they were all legally "retired" due to the Accords.

At one point they lost Peter. Bucky had found him looking at a onesie that looked like his Spider Man outfit.

"Can he have this too?"

"Fuck yeah," Bucky said with a smile. "Add that shit to Tony's bill. If you find anyone else throw that in too. He's going to be dressing up like his aunts and uncles until he decides he doesn't want to."

"Like his uncles? I'm an uncle?"

"Hell yeah, spider kid. Sure we didn't meet on good terms, but you're family now. I like you more than Tony and he's buying me a house and dressing my kid until he dies."

Peter laughed at that before hugging Bucky. Buck hugged the kid back. It was kind of awkward since he had only ever hugged Steve before, but he would gladly add Peter if it made him feel better.

The hug was cut short when Bucky suddenly heard Nic crying. The sound startled him since Nicolae had been so quiet for so long. They both rushed over to see what had caused the sound. Steve now had Nic in his arms, trying to calm him down.

"Stark, what did you do to my kid?"

"I didn't do anything! He just started crying when I went to buy all his adorable clothes!"

"It's fine, Buck. Calm down."

Bucky carefully took the baby from Steve and held him close, shushing him softly. Nicolae almost instantly stopped crying when Bucky had him.

"He's already daddy's little boy."

"Shut up, Stark."

Peter glanced at the baby, Bucky recognized the look and grinned.

"Parker, hold my baby."

"What? I-I couldn't. It's fine."

"Take the baby."

Peter flushed before taking Nic from Buck.

"I'm scared I'll drop him."

"You'll be fine."

Bucky took the diaper bag from Steve before Tony made him help carry out all the bags filled with clothes.

"C'mon, he's probably hungry."

Peter followed right behind Bucky, scared to be walking around with a baby. He had never even held a baby before yet Bucky just handed him over and didn't ask twice. Nicolae was just too cute though with his blonde hair and grey eyes.

"Do you wanna feed him?"

"I could."

"Here you go."

Peter almost screamed when Bucky suddenly threw a bottle at him. If it wasn't for his enhanced reflexes he probably would've missed it.

"Is there anything special I have to do?"

"Hold him, put the bottle in his mouth, when he's done burp him. He's pretty easy so far."

Peter nodded as he began to feed Nic, smiling as the baby wrapped his little hands around the bottle.

"Where did Steve and Tony go?"

"Take out everything Tony bought. Remind me to buy Nic a good sized dresser."

"Will do."

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for Steve and Tony to come back in. He frowned as Nic finished his bottle and they still weren't back. He figured Steve would text him if he got worried and directed Peter to a baby store. The first thing he bought was a stroller because he knew everyone's arms would get tired.

Peter set Nic down in the stroller and buckled him in. He was happy to be able to finally put the baby down. It was nice holding him, but his hand had started to fall asleep. He followed Bucky around, trying his best to pick things out.

"Oh shit. We didn't even discuss what color his room was going to be. How can I pick furniture without knowing that? Having a baby is stressful. Don't have one until you know you're fully prepared. On one hand I am happy, on the other I'm fucking lost and stressed."

The old woman that had been helping Bucky looked shocked by his choice of words. She was a small woman. She looked like and ant next to Bucky.

"Well you could always call your wife and ask."

Peter almost choked on air when she said that. Bucky didn't skip a beat and grabbed his phone to call Steve. Thankfully he answered his phone.

"What's up, Buck?"

"Steve, what color are we painting our baby's room? Peter and I are looking at furniture and I almost decided without knowing."

The woman seemed more shocked now that she knew Bucky was with another man. Peter almost wondered if she thought he was Bucky's brother or cousin or something.

"Should I ask Stark?"

"No, don't ask Stark. Stark can't even dress himself, he doesn't know colors. Let's just go with light blue walls, white carpet, white furniture or maybe light, natural wood?"

"Blue walls, white floor, wood. Love it. Buy that. We're still trying to get the bags in the car."

"Got it. Good luck."

Bucky hung up and put the phone back in his pocket before pointing to a crib made from a light colored wood.

"I'd like that one and anything that goes with it."

"May I ask you something?"

Bucky looked down at the old lady before nodding.

"When did you know you... You know."

"I don't know. I was in a series of accidents and lost some old memories. I have for as long as I could remember though. Why?"

"My granddaughter recently told us she liked other girls. Her parents aren't as supportive as I'd like."

Bucky's face softened at those words and Peter had to resist the urge to start yelling because this old lady just threw a goddamn curve ball and he was still trying to understand what was happening.

"Well then you'll just have to support her for you and both of her parents. Show her she's loved by someone."

The old woman looked like she was going to burst into tears before nodding and saying, "I'll try my best. You just seemed very brave about that. Not many same sex couples come in here, let alone with their babies. Maybe I'll advertise more that shows support."

"Ask your granddaughter to help. She might enjoy it."

"Thank you so much. I'll give you a discount since you're buying a set and helped me out."

Bucky tried to talk her out of the extra discount since he would honestly tell anyone that even looked at him that he was in a romantic relationship with Steve Rogers. Old ladies are very persistent though and she ended up making the set half off because she wouldn't take no for an answer. Bucky promised to return to gather the furniture and she promised him it would be waiting.

Bucky tried to ignore the look Peter was giving him as they walked out of the store. Stupid teenage boys.

"What?"

"Dude, that old lady threw me for a loop. Her face was so shocked when you started swearing, and then you said Steve and it looked like she was about to break a gasket. She shocked me!"

"She was cool. I like her."

Bucky almost turned around and punched someone when he felt arms wrap around his waist. Luckily Steve's arms were very distinctive and nobody was harmed.

"What did you get then?"

"Natural, light woods."

"Perfect. How much?"

"Half off because old ladies love me."

"What?"

"Ask Parker. I swindled her."

"He's lying. She said to call his wife to ask and he made sure to say Steve as loudly as possible. Turns out her granddaughter is also gay and the old lady got some answers from Bucky. She was sweet. I feel like she'd have a nice old lady name like Beatrice."

Steve rolled his eyes before checking out the stroller. He had no idea how Nic could still be sleeping with all the noise going on around them. Peter continued to follow behind Steve and Bucky as they shopped. He didn't need anything but of course they bought him stuff anyways. Especially Stark, something about needing a better wardrobe.

Bucky couldn't tell how long they were in the mall other than Nic had eaten twice and had been changed plenty of times. Stark finally decided everyone had enough and demanded they go to Steve and Bucky's new house to look around. They said goodbye to Peter, but not before Bucky had gotten his cellphone number because he'd trust the spider kid to watch his baby if ever needed. 

Steve pushed Bucky into the van before getting in himself. Tony had sat up front this time, going on and on about why he should be the godfather since he just bought Nic an entire bedroom and clothes to last him a life time. Bucky didn't say anything since he didn't want Steve to be mad at him for saying Clint was going to be Nic's godfather.

"And we're here!"

Bucky looked up at the house. It was a cute farmhouse that was painted white with blue accents. It had a spacious front yard and trees surrounding the whole thing. They had to be out of city limits. Way out. There was no way this was in town. Bucky had spaced out during the car ride so he didn't know exactly where they were, but he loved it.

"It has an even bigger backyard. Pool included."

"That won't be safe for Nicolae."

"It's baby proof. I took the liberty of making the entire house baby proof. With the good, expensive security measures. He'll be fine."

Bucky was skeptical, but it could also be from the fact he didn't trust Stark fully. A pickup appeared behind the van. A couple of men walked out and opened the back of the van.

"Moving team. They also grabbed the furniture since there's no way it would fit in here. You guys can set it up after you paint. He's probably still good to just sleep with you two until it's done."

"Is his room near ours?"

"Oh yeah. Right across the hall. No need for baby monitors when he's right there, but I did hook up a neat thing for when he's in bed and you two aren't. Just video surveillance that connects to two tablets so you can check on him from anywhere. Steve can take his on missions and still see his baby."

"You'd still make me go on missions?"

"World's still in danger, Dorito. I'll just call on you less."

Steve just frowned before helping to carry in bags. Bucky grabbed the car seat and carried Nic into the house. The interior was as beautiful as the exterior. It was very open, which Bucky liked. The only stairs they had led upstairs and Tony had baby gates installed at the top and bottom of them. They just looked like swinging gates.

He set down the car seat in the living room, sitting down on the couch. He had never imagined living in such a large house, let alone with Steve and a baby. This was a thing of dreams. He was almost scared it was. But he couldn't dream up Nicolae's soft hands touching his or how Steve's lips felt against his own. He knew this was real. He owned a house with his boyfriend Steve Rogers and they had a beautiful baby boy named Nicolae. Nothing about this could be more perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my first ever story that I've post anywhere! If you want to see more of the Barnes-Rogers family please let me know!


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